It Sucks to be a Regi
by TheDragonLover
Summary: May contain mild spoilers for MD2. Don't you think that the Regis need a break, too? This is a oneshot I made because I felt that they get too much crap, and I wanted to try to stop it. Tell me if it worked. No, don't hate Darkrai, but the Regis do.


**NOTE: Please read this before continuing on!**

**Alright, well, I have decided to write a Regi-based Pokemon oneshot, and let me explain why: I was lending my friend (Dalsson and Co.) my DS because his was broken and watched him play **_**Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time**_** with it, and as I watched him kill the Regis over and over again (because he would have to continue going through the dungeons to get all of the Unown rocks and his partner kept dying since it's a retard like that) I felt sorry that they had to keep on getting their asses kicked. Since I love all Pokemon no matter what and I don't like to discriminate or diss any of them, I decided I would do a oneshot dedicated to them. Please no flaming, for everyone has their opinions (including you!). Maybe a slight spoiler for Post-Ending, but it's really not that much.  
**

**Oh, and I have a kick-ass speech at the bottom! If you don't read this oneshot, at least read that!**

* * *

Within the dark, dank walls of Aegis Cave, Registeel contemplated how annoying and troublesome the world could be. In fact, she was really pissed off right now at the world, and for good reason – she had been disturbed from her free-time (she had been whistling a wonderfully in tune 'Cliffs of Dover' at the time) when suddenly a trio of Pokemon had come in, demanding to see treasure. As was her job, she tested their power by battling them, and she was disappointed to find that she pummeled them into the ground. The Lopunny was annoying with her dancing away from damage, but she left the Medicham to fend for herself (who was quickly defeated) and the Gardevoir to try to heal them all with Healing Wish (which ended up leading her to her downfall). In the end, the Normal-Type couldn't hold out forever on her own, and she was trounced as if she was just a twig.

Registeel, unfortunately, wasn't allowed to really kill them, and so she was told by Regigigas (she hated that giant oaf because he wouldn't let her have her way) to leave them alone until they woke up and lead them out of the cave to safety with only a slap on the wrist. Of course, she disapproved of his decision, but, he was boss – she couldn't do a thing about it. She was now sitting there, waiting for them to wake up, and now pissed off that she couldn't remember how 'Cliffs of Dover' went.

_Damn adventurers,_ she thought darkly, wondering why the hell anyone would want to come out this far if they weren't equipped for the job. _They need to actually train some good-ass rescue teams before they try to send them out here to 'claim glory', because, seriously, it's just a waste of everyone's time._

Now, being a part of a trio and having a leader, you had to have a successful way to communicate between each other in dire situations or emergencies – or just when you're plain bored. She and the other three could actually vibrate the ground in very low and high frequencies that they could understand and respond to, and it was hard to mistake anything when the vibrations rattled your bones (well, for those who have any). So, that's what she was doing now – listening to Regice talking to Regirock by vibrating the ground.

"_So, I told her, 'well, Cresselia, I wasn't expecting Darkrai to be serious about that, but when I'm allowed out of here, I'll be sure to help in any way I can!' And then, she sighed and shook her head at me before I woke up, and I had a post-it note stuck on my forehead I had to get Registeel to get off for me that said 'I'm watching you' and had Darkrai's signature on it. I'm scared, do you think he'll come after me?_"

"_Not if he's smart, he won't!_" She could tell by his thick vibrations that Regirock seemed a bit agitated by the news of Darkrai's threat. "_I'll Hammer Arm him to Giratina if he does. Besides, it's not like Regigigas is going to sit around and do nothing if he does come._"

"_But, like, I'm in the front of the cave! He gets to me first!_"

"_Don't worry about it, Regice – me and Registeel will be there to kick his ass. Right, Registeel?_"

Disliking being included into this conversation, she thrummed sarcastically, "_Oh, yes, sure – I will go out of my way to beat up an emo fag who beats up Regice for talking to the controller of good dreams. Makes perfect sense._"

"_Hey, you don't have to be so – whoa, who's there?_" The vibrations from Regice stopped suddenly, making Registeel perk her body upright and listen closely for any other noises. Through her sensitivity for vibrations, she could barely feel the softest of pattering on the ground, and she tensed up as she realized that the Ice-Type Regi (and the least capable one of the trio) had company.

_Oh, crap, she's screwed,_ she thought, and she prepared herself for the wails of her 'sister' when she heard said Regi vibrate, "_Huh…I thought I heard something, but I only see one Bulbasaur…._"

Registeel scoffed. _What, do they think we're so weak that a measly _Bulbasaur_ can take us out? Youngsters these days…._ She huffed, crossing her arms before she fell over startled at a large wailing noise coming from the front entrance of the cave.

_That's…._ Registeel quickly put her hand onto the rock wall beside her and asked, "_What happened? Regice?_"

"_INTRUDERS! Th-there's a Piplup, too! It used Dig, and –_" Another loud cry, and suddenly a very harsh thud made the entire cave shake and threw bits and pieces of the wall all over the place. Registeel felt her body grow colder as she realized that there were intruders. Teleporting the unconscious rescue team to a safer place (after all, she didn't really want to kill them), she used Iron Defense before steeling herself (haha, funny) for battle if need be.

"_Regirock, quick! Reinforce your part of the cave! Regice, hang on!_"

* * *

Regirock tensed up his stony arms as he got ready to defend the cave. _Regice better not be hurt,_ he growled mentally, and he used Iron Defense for good measure before waiting anxiously for a sign of the duo that was fighting its way through the cave. _But, a Piplup and a Bulbasaur…do they _really_ think it's going to be _that_ easy?_ Not knowing what the Pokemon outside of the cave were doing ever since they were holed up in the damn place, he could only wonder what was going on and what they were saying about them and the rest of the Legendaries. _They're probably talking about how we're sissies or something,_ he would have gritted his teeth if he had any, _so we'll just have to show those morons who's boss around here!_ Then, he heard the slight rumbling of a Digging Pokemon, and he got himself ready for a showdown as something suddenly burst through the ground and to the surface….

After a bunch of coughing and hacking, the dust cleared to reveal a frazzled Bulbasaur next to a determined Piplup who had a grin on his beak. The Grass/Poison-Type looked nervously at Regirock as he told them, "YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH AND BATTLE ME!" It wasn't exactly snazzy, but it was the best he could do on such short notice.

Although the Piplup (who he assumed was the leader) seemed very confident in his abilities and stood his ground unfazed, the Bulbasaur beside him trembled a bit and mumbled, "D-D-D-Dalsson? A-Are you _sure_ w-we can handle th-this?" The st-st-stuttering was annoying, but Dalsson seemed able to ignore it as he nodded decisively. His partner grumbled an 'ok' and reluctantly got into battle position, and immediately Regirock knew he couldn't win; not only was he at a Type Disadvantage, but the Piplup had burrowed deep into the ground as soon as he went to walk up.

As he felt the sheer pain of a combination of Dig and Seed Bomb, he called out to Registeel, "_Watch out, they're coming your way! They're no ordinary Pokemon!_"

And then, it all went black.

* * *

Regice, after a couple of minutes of laying unconscious on the floor of her cave, quickly floated to an upright position and looked around, wondering what the hell had happened. Then, after it hit her and she could remember everything that had happened, she beeped in worry and quickly floated the direction the rescue teams took to get to Regirock, using a shortcut that no one but the Regis could use to get through in a snap. Levitating in at a dangerous speed, she screeched to a stop and landed beside a hurt Regirock who was only just now getting up. She asked worriedly, "Are you alright, Regirock?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he grumbled, although he didn't look too good – he was struggling to get onto his feet, and it was only with her help that they were able to push him upright. After they had caught their breath – err, rested – she asked him, "So, they got passed you, too?"

"Yeah," he cursed under his breath and sighed, "unfortunately. Those two are _strong_, though; they took me out with two moves altogether."

She sighed, hoping that Registeel was dealing with them better than they had.

* * *

Regigigas, although in the form of a statue, could see and hear everything that was happening in the cave; he knew of Regice and Regirock's failures, and he was anxiously awaiting for Registeel to do the same. It's not that he doubted her powers (although he swore that she purposefully disobeyed him at times just because she wanted to), but those two seemed to be incredibly strong – she wouldn't last much longer.

"_Dammit, these guys are _killer!_ I didn't know that somebody so small could – urgh!_" He felt her fall to the ground, hurt far too much to battle anymore, and so he used his power to Teleport her to a safer place, accidentally switching her for that other rescue team. He didn't care at the moment, however, because the two were walking up to him at that moment. He was still for a moment that felt like an eternity, before him and eight other statues broke free as if coming to life, scaring the seeds out of the poor Bulbasaur following everyone and causing one of the first rescue team members to faint.

Unfortunately for them, they were worn down from fighting the other Regis, and it was easy work to pick them off one-by-one. They were so courageous and heroic, though, that Regigigas sent them all home fully Recovered and told the Regi trio to stay away from them the next time they came back. Despite the protesting, they agreed to it, hid in a separate cave, and waited.

As he predicted, the rescue teams came back again not too long afterwards, and they were surprised to find their way clear up to Regigigas' chamber. This time, they were prepared with as many items and energy as possible, and even the great leader of the Regis found them challenging. Still, they were no match for him even after they had dealt with his minions, and they were sent back home in a similar fashion as last time.

Still, they were persistent, and they came for one final time to settle the score. With them, they had the remainder of their items and a whole lot of fury to back them up, and a battle of epic proportions took place in Regigigas' cave that he'd never forget as long as he lived. In the end, they were too strong for him, and they were very cheerful of their victory….

* * *

"Yes! We did it!" Lopunny jumped around excitedly and hugged Buzie, and the Bulbasaur blushed heavily at the contact and kept his gaze away from her as Dalsson smirked at his nervousness. Then, the Gardevoir pointed at a giant rock that had appeared as if by magic and questioned, "What's that doing here?"

Dalsson frowned for a moment before shrugging, and then he walked up to it and put his flipper on it. Almost immediately, it started to glow, and everyone gasped in shock as the light flashed over and over again.

Then, they felt a faint rumbling, and they looked over to see Regigigas getting up to his feet once more. Medicham gasped and shouted, "Are we in for another round?!"

The Normal-Type Legendary roared loudly and smashed his fist into the ground, and eventually the ground started to shake violently as if an earthquake was going to destroy the cave. Everyone gasped and made a run for it, except for Dalsson, who was looking at the Legendary curiously, wondering what he was doing. Regigigas looked up at the Piplup, and a shimmering of one of his jewels looked eerily similar to a wink as he blinked in confusion. Then, Buzie rushed back over and tugged on his flipper with his mouth, mumbling around the appendage in his teeth, "Fut ah you woiwing? Et's _go!_" (Translation: What are you doing? Let's _go!_)

Dalsson looked at Regigigas one more time before nodding to his partner and running out after them all, trying to look behind and see cave had collapsed onto the Legendary. All he saw, however, were many dots glowing in the dark – red, orange, and yellow – and the creepily calm sight of the Normal-Type's face staring after them, looking rather content.

Later, they found that the cave that concealed the treasure (ironically called 'Concealed Ruins') had risen from the ground during the quake, and as they all got ready to go through the dungeon Dalsson couldn't help but think that perhaps Regigigas thought they were worthy and he revealed the cave to them to let them test their strength there, but after a moment of thought he banished the idea to instead encourage his partner that he wasn't going to get buried in a landslide there.

* * *

**Alright, well, I just wanted to do this quick, although it took one full night and a couple of minutes more, and so I leave you this final note: don't knock something 'til you try it! What I mean is, just because you normally don't like something (i.e. Regis) and you find a story or picture of it, don't immediately think that it's stupid or that it isn't worth anything – you might actually like it, if you take the time and open up your mind a bit. Widen your horizons every once in a while, and you'll get the most you can out of life! That is how I find a lot of things I now like – not even just stories; it can be anything like food, music, or even ways of life – and I am now happy that I have.**

**Example: I never would have thought of Giratina and Latias pairings if it wasn't for Shiny Hunter and some other select awesome authors! Also, I never liked coffee until I had to wait in an airport for three hours 'til eleven at night, and guess what pulled me through that all-nighter!**

**So, before you leave me here to either review or be totally cruel and just leave a hit (meanies!), I want you to take a moment and really think about this:**

**Are the Regis really that bad?**

**Do they really deserve all of the ridicule, like Heatran and Shaymin?**

**What is really wrong with them?**

**They're **_**different?**_

**Don't you think that **_**you**_** might seem different to someone else?**

**Would **_**you**_** like them to ridicule you?**

**It doesn't matter that they're not real, or that they can't hear everything that we say (or can they?) – what **_**does**_** is that you learn that different things fit different people and as long as they don't do anything to purposefully mess with you, we should just let it be. After all, we all share one thing in common: we all need to live with one another in harmony.**

**Or, we just kill each other off until there's no one left, but, eh, details, details!**

* * *

Full of dragon-y love,

DL ('Dragon Lover')


End file.
